When people say “uhhh”, it’s basically the loading screen/wheel equivalent for humans.
If marijuana was just now discovered, it would be considered a miracle drug.
Telling my friends my Wifi password has become less and less like offering snacks and more like providing water.
The older I get, the more I want to get off work early and rush home as quickly as possibly to do absolutely nothing but be a part of my couch.
I treat my weight like the speed limit. 5 over is fine, but once you start getting around 15+ you have to either start to reel it in or commit to it.
I really hope dreams aren’t a reality from another dimension, because I’ve done some fucked up shit in my dreams.
Wet socks are the worst first world problem. We are literally complaining about having both water and socks.
No matter how old I get, I always feel like everyone older than myself is a “real” adult and I’m just faking it somehow.
i hate ppl who get personally offended when im in a bad mood like im not mad at u susan im mad at the world